Is sexting safe for girls? Yes and no. It is a complicated question, and has to be considered in the light of all the ways in which sex can now take place, from phone sex to all the ways in which sex can happen over the internet (porn included).
The Huffington Post outlines the dangers which face girls and women from sexting – the danger of not truly knowing how you are talking to, the risks of having your photos becoming public and being seen by people you never wanted them to see…
The list is endless.
There are concerns that the increase in sexting, and the demand for it, is leading to lower self-esteem among girls and women. The reliance on sexting as a means of gaining approval leads to potential lack of approval, which can be hurtful. Of course, we cannot force people to feel attraction, that’s impossible, but if you open up and give someone nudes, you are trusting them to act appropriately with those nudes.
There is a way to let someone down gently if you don’t find them attractive, it is possible to avoid being boorish. Similarly, showing everybody a photo which a girl assumed was private is a massive breach of trust, and the consequences of that choice can leave her feeling worthless.
The Creep Potential
The problem with sexting is that there is no way to truly know who is on the other end of the line. The problem with everybody seeing private photos (including people who you would really rather not have seeing them, just for added horror), is that, funnily enough, everybody sees them. Putting something out for public consumption is taking a risk that everyone who sees it will have good intentions – making sexts public is very often an invasion of privacy, and often, it is done with the express purpose of hurting the person who sent the sexts.
Lack of Consent
Privacy is often an underrated notion on today’s online world, but it is something which needs to be taken into consideration when it comes to sexts.
- Consent for one person to see a sext is not permission for it to be shared generally
- A sext does not mean that you can treat the person who gave you their picture with disrespect
- A sext is an expression of trust; don’t blow it!
- A sext can lead to a lot of fun, if it is handled properly
Sexts have to be handled properly – if you receive one, it’s a fair bet in this day and age (at least if you are male – women often aren’t so lucky (though do dick pics count as sexts?)) that it is because you asked for one. Handle them properly, because otherwise things might not work out the way either of you had planned…
- If you ask for a sext, do not immediately turn round and condemn the sender for giving you one
- If you receive a sext, be polite.
- The person sending you a sext has just trusted you with something very private – act accordingly
- Above all, enjoy!
Care and Feeding of Sexts
If you are in a position to be receiving sexts, congratulations! Hopefully it will continue. To make sure that it does, always treat the person sending the sexts with respect and decency, and make sure she knows how much you appreciate both her and the pictures.
Sexting is something which can be both good and bad, as we have hopefully shown. There are dangers and pleasures associated with it – which one is up to you. So long as people approach sexting with the respect it deserves, everyone should be happy.