A lot of us see love as this magical feeling which can bring us together with the right person for the rest of our lives; but when it comes to actually describing it, it seems we have different opinions about what it is. People can use a lot of adjectives when talking about love, and the word ‘soulmate’ seems to show up a lot in those conversations. The truth is that love, infatuation and lust can all be part of the same package, so let’s take a look at what those feelings really stand for.
What is infatuation?
This feeling is often confused with love, and that is because those two share many characteristics in common. Infatuation can be described as an intense and short-lived felling of passion or admiration for someone. As such, the intensity of this feeling often makes us think that we are in love, as a lot of us have been taught to believe that this is what love is: an uncontrollable and passionate feeling. The sticking point with infatuation is that it is in fact a short-lived feeling, rather than being something we feel for the rest of our lives.
What is lust?
Lust is an easier feeling to describe, and is very sexual in nature. When we lust for someone, it means we desire then in a physical and carnal way. In shorter terms, we just want to have sex with them. Lust can be a very strong feeling too so people can confuse it with love, however most people know to make the difference between being addicted sexually to someone and feeling love towards them. This is why people use dating sites such as http://www.sexwithnostrings.com/en where they can find other like-minded sexual adventurers, rather than looking around for a long term relationship.
What is love?
Love is a complex feeling which comes over time as we get to know someone. For example, we love our parents over time because they have looked after us and we know we can trust them. Love comes with knowledge, our parents and friends know us well and are there for us so we know we can count on them. When we fall in love with our partner, it is because we know that we can finally trust someone with our lives; they will be there for us when we need them. People whom we love complete us and are an integral part of our lives.
So when you feel ‘love at first sight’, it is more likely that you are feeling infatuated towards someone. This concept of romantic love has been pushed to us by the movies we watch and books we read, and furthermore there are a lot of people who want to make money out of us ‘being in love’. As such, society can mislead us into thinking we are in love. Between the people who want to sell us jewellery to express our ‘love’ and the wedding industry who makes a living out of people falling in love, there are many pressures around us to make us think we are in love when we are not. The best bet is always to take our time, after all love doesn’t go away in an instant. The truth is that we can love someone if they are the right person for us, we just need to make sure we stay in tune with our feelings so that we make the difference between infatuation, lust and love.